Loosey Goosey

38 weeks

I stood in the kitchen stirring turkey chili ignoring a succession of Braxton Hicks until I felt a severe burning sensation in my hips.  I put down the wooden spoon and went to lie down with Levi in the living room hoping that playing with him would diffuse the pain.  It didn't.  After half an hour of squirming uncomfortably I texted my midwife.


It turned out to be loose joints gone too loose.  I have not been formally diagnosed (hopefully I will be tomorrow), but my midwife confined me to my prison bed until I received all three treatments (medicine, pelvic support and physical therapy.

Today is day four of bed rest, no thanks to the long weekend.  Sorry, Martin Luther King Jr.--you are still greatly appreciated.

I feel no pain.  Just soreness.  But what I do feel is completely wrong--a clicking sort of sensation in my hips when I get up.  As if the bones in my hips are loosely attached, bumping into each other when I walk.  Not a pleasant feeling at all.

I was surprised.  Me?  Incapacitated? No way.  Never.  I still have two weeks and half before the due date.  My midwife called it denial; I call it surprise.

The first two days saw me in a sour mood, restless and disappointed.  Was it my fault?  Did I do something wrong?  Most of all I was worried about the dwindling quality time I had left with Levi before the new baby comes.

I googled up SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) and learned about the other name, PGP (pelvic girdle pain).  I realized that I had symptoms way back, while I was pregnant with Levi and seeing an obstetrician.  I learned that there are no obvious explanations or causes, except that there is an increase in diagnoses, possibly correlating with the increase in maternal age.

I did not know what to do.  Then I began to make to-do lists and emailed them to Doug, my mother and my mother in law.  I realized I had to catch up on emails.  Then I thought, hey, why not hit up some friends and family for a long overdue phone chat?  And knit I did.  I folded freshly washed baby clothes and relished the sunlight in my bedroom.

Day four and I got it.  My mind is the clearest it has been in eons, and I feel well rested.  When Levi comes to join his supine mama, he is greeted with hugs and kisses and returns them.  I feel caught up on life.

Being forced to stop and lie down reminds me that the world will go on just fine.  Loose joints help loosen my soul.