10/52, 5/52: Sleep

"A portrait of my oldest son once a week, every week in 2014."
10/52

"A portrait of my youngest son once a week, every week in 2014."
5/52

Levi:  He is so two.  Levi is experiencing some major sleep regressions.  He wakes up a puffy eyed curmudgeon and requires either prolonged cuddling or a meal immediately to satiate his out-of-sorts feelings.  I understand completely because I am exactly the same way.  I am not a good napper and feel this same way when I wake up from my naps, be it 15 minutes (advised by well-meaning people) or an hour.   We emerge exhausted from trying to put him down to sleep.  Last night it took two hours and two frustrated parents to get this two year old to sleep.

Wyatt:  This aging newborn sleeps so much.  I have so many photos of him sleeping, but so few of him awake.  When I stagger from a darkened room and a sleeping toddler, I am greeted by a very hungry and sleepy baby.  I am very grateful that he sleeps solidly and soundly in the night, waking only once or twice to feed.  Once in the dark I reached out to feel him.  My finger was met by something warm and soft and it was only after he grasped me I realized it was his hand holding my finger.  A delicious moment in the dark.

9/52, 4/52: Focus

"A portrait of my youngest son once a week, every week in 2014."
4/52

"A portrait of my oldest son once a week, every week in 2014."
9/52

Wyatt:  Quiet boy.  He lies there, still and rapt, inviting me to gaze into his eyes.  The other day Levi made an observation about his brother's eyes.  He said, "The eyes are bright."  So right on.  Wyatt's eyes are the color of zinc.  They mirror everything, reflecting light and whoever he focuses on.

Levi:  This photograph was taken by Douglas, not me.  I have been frustrated lately, unable to document our lives the way I want to.  I cannot get my camera to focus on Levi the way I want to; he moves continuously and quickly so many photos are out of focus.  Then again Levi has been slightly out of focus for me lately--he remains in my peripheral view as I spend time recovering and nursing Wyatt.  I miss Levi.

Pop and Wyatt

Our hat project continues.  As explained in another post, we took Pop-and-Levi photographs, documenting Levi's growth with hats each month during his first year of life.  Now we are doing it on a yearly basis.  And what about Wyatt?  We debated how to set it up--all three of them together, or one each?  For Wyatt's first hat photograph with his Pop, we decided to do it with just the two of them.  For the next 11 months, we aren't sure.  But let me just enjoy this one, for now.

8/52, 3/52: Hands and Profiles

"A portrait of my oldest once a week, every week in 2014."
8/52

"A portrait of my youngest once a week, every week in 2014."
3/52

Levi: Still rosy-cheeked from his nap and clutching his little animals, Levi ventured a look outside.  We attempted to coax him into coming out to build a snowman, but he stood his ground.  He was excited just watching the babysitter add some prunes and a carrot to create a face for the snowman.  The light fell on his face in such a soft way.  "Need a snow girl," he said, still sleepy and completely oblivious to the fact that his mama could not take her eyes off him.

Wyatt: He slumbers most of the time, waking only to feed or to look about for a few wide-eyed minutes, looking absolutely astounded at the world around him.  Wyatt is still a slender newborn, although his legs are gaining strength (oh, those little kicks that sometimes propel him away from my body).  He has outgrown most of his newborn clothes.  I keep dressing him in this wonderful fleece cardigan because it's one of the few new clothes that he can claim as his own, not a hand-me-down.

7/52, 2/52

"A portrait of my oldest once a week, every week in 2014."
7/52

"A portrait of my youngest, once a week, every week in 2014."
2/52

Levi:  The second week of being a family of four has seen some challenges.  Levi misses his mama terribly.  I know that Levi will understand, eventually, that we will rediscover our balance and rhythm as a family.  He is growing more independent each day, simultaneously enjoying and bemoaning his status as a big brother.  Levi told me that I needed to move the book I am reading aloud so Wyatt could see it too.  Yet he needs his mama more than ever and tells me that too, frequently through words and actions.  I have never been more frustrated with Levi yet I love him more fiercely than ever.

Wyatt:  Yesterday my mother pointed out his symmetrical features and his asymmetrical ears.  Each day is a day of discovery--I have learned that Wyatt can be soothed by seeing his brother's face.  He fixates on Levi once Levi moves into his view.  It is so different the second time around--I have a glimpse of grandparents' ease around babies.  I can stop and smell the roses this baby.  I am relishing this lovely new stage of life.  Wyatt smells so good and whoever holds him finds it very hard to let go.

Mama's Stomach Broke: Wyatt Che's Birth Story

Photo Credit: Joanne Scott

The best-laid plans of mice and men oft go astray.  --Robert Burns

I bought a delicate, tissue-thin kaftan (okay, a glorified muumuu) specifically for the day of the birth.  I had an idea of what the birth would look like:

6/52, 1/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week in 2014."
6/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week in 2014."
1/52

 Two children, two boys, two sons, two loves.

Levi woke up an hour before Wyatt was born, so he became witness to the birth.  Ever since then, he asks, "Where baby?" whenever he wakes up.  Levi has stepped into his new role of big brother with grace, with patience and with amazing resilience.  We are so proud of him.

Wyatt is a sleepy and voracious newborn.  We take turns gazing at him, wondering the same thing: who are you?  Each day we learn a little bit more about this brand new human being.  I look forward to witnessing him grow and prosper with his brother.  Douglas said to me, "I feel full."  I nodded.  I, too, feel so full of awe, of love, of family.  It's a lovely feeling.